And so he has returned. He comes so late
I had not looked for him these many years.
It seemed I must resign myself to fate.
Despite a sense of loss, there were no tears,
and certainly no reason to await
a reappearance. No-one reappears –
do they? – after such a lengthy absence,
such an unrelieved and total silence.
Yet here he is, with thanks upon his tongue
for all the truth we shared a decade past –
and suddenly I’m roused, as after long
and peaceful slumber, opening eyes at last ...
awakening to dawn and daylight, song
of early birds crescendoing, and vast
blue skies unfolding to the spreading sun.
He has returned, I thought forever gone.
He has returned, I thought forever gone.
Written for the Ottava Rima challenge at Poetic Asides
I love this poem, Rosemary. Only suggestion I could make to improve it would be to delete the first line and start with "I had not looked for him ..." This is because the title of the poem sets the scene and renders the first line superfluous, plus the second line is absolutely beautiful. <3
ReplyDeleteMany thanks, Barbara. A most excellent suggestion and I take your points – only that would stop it from being an ottava rima, and to keep to the strict form I'd have to rewrite. I'd need to insert a third-last line with an 'ate' rhyme ending, which would mean rewriting the next line ... all of which is not impossible, and would be an interesting challenge! I might very well give it a go.
DeleteRe-reading this months later, I think the answer would be to chop off both that first line and the last line! Which I shall if I ever publish it. Thank you again.
DeleteWOW! Beautiful!
ReplyDelete